What is This?!

Story and photos by Ron Greene

One morning, I went out to find a strange-looking plant in a pot that was empty the night before.

Perplexed, I asked my wife what it could be. She shook her head, shrugged, then walked off.

I decided to bring this mystery to our neighbors on Nextdoor to see if they had any answers. I got some interesting replies. The one that made the most sense, was that it was a large and obese tribble, like the fuzzy creatures in the Star Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles.” 

Although, I couldn’t understand why a tribble would travel several light years to Earth just to get high on pot. It wouldn’t be a spectacular high since the table was only four feet off the ground.

I still clung to the fuzzy plant theory so I did what should be occasionally done with plants. I watered it.

A perturbed, furry face shot up, glaring at me. It was of the genus, felis obesis, our little girl, Sweetie.

Of course, being concerned about her pot habit, I consulted several noted animal psychologists, many with “PhD” after their names. Most prescribed rigorous (and expensive) rehabilitation regimens for Sweetie (and me). 

One afternoon, my construction worker neighbor came over. I described my quandary. “Simple. Turn the pot upside down,” he replied then walked off.

Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? So I did, and Sweetie finally kicked her pot habit.

Now she’s into boxes and paper bags. But since they’re usually on the floor, at least she doesn’t get high anymore.

I no longer have to worry about her getting pulled over and failing her sobriety test.

A word of advice: if you should find a fuzzy plant in your pot, do not… I repeat, do not water it! My wrist is now scarred for life.