By Diane Hettrick
(Attention new readers: the categories and comments are mine)
The Hard-Core Stuff
6-6…..15202 Aurora, Oriental Market, 11:35 am. Suspect entered store, handed victim a note, demanded money, implied a knife and gun.
6-8…..4xx N 182nd Ct. Attempted burglary. The alarm went off, neighbor called homeowner. Homeowner returned home and found a ladder against his windows.
6-13….17xx N 175. Burglary, forced entry, items taken.
6-14….17xx NE 150th. Attempted burglary. Removed screens.
Soft-core
6-9…..192nd/Meridian. Hit and run. (I guess it depends what they hit.)
6-9…..153xx Aurora, Safeway. Subject caught shoplifting. Had un-prescribed methadone.
6-11….145th/15th NE, Goodwill. Shoplifting. Items recovered. (Not sure, but I think they have regulars.)
6-11….153rd/Aurora, Safeway. Shoplifting meat. (Yuuck. How? In a purse? Under their jacket? I repeat: Yuuck.).
6-11….153rd/Aurora, Safeway. Black adult male stole make-up. (Well, of course he had to steal it. It would be far too embarrassing to go through the line and buy it.)
6-13….157xx Aurora, Sears. 2 people shoplift video games.
6-13….155xx Densmore. Someone attached “emblems” to front and rear of car. Removing them damaged the paint.
Public inebriation
6-8…..1514 N 200th, Park n Ride. Drunk male in park and ride. Requested detox. (Wonder what alternatives he was given to get him to agree to dry out?)
6-10….3xx RB Rd. Passed out drunk in cab. Didn’t pay fare. (At least he wasn't driving.)
6-18….15xx NE 145th, U76 Gas Station. Brian was drunk and panhandling. Trespassed. (oh no, so far all the guys who have been Trespassed have different names. I was kind of hoping it was one crazy guy going door to door.)
Mental
6-11….13xx N 169th. Attempted suicide. Co-worker gave her old prescription of Seroquel. (The two facts probably don’t have anything to do with each other, except that the woman had mental problems and the co-worker, while ill-advised, was trying to help. Seroquel side-effects are “constipation, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, lightheadedness, nasal congestion, sore throat, stomach upset, tiredness, vomiting, weakness, weight gain. Allergic reactions are rash, hives, itching, etc. etc.” If anyone ever actually read the side effects of prescription drugs, the pharmaceutical industry would go bankrupt.)
6-11….1283 N 205th, Split End Salon. Trespassed customer who was showing inappropriate interest in employee. (Creepy. I hope someone walks her to her car.)
Fraud (Have you eaten at Shari’s? Check your bank statement.)
6-7…..20101 Aurora, Ace Cash Express. Guy attempted to cash a check from his insurance company that was intended for Swedish Hospital. Fled without check once he was denied. (Ok, I am very impressed that the cashier figured it out. I mean, seriously, have you ever tried to read the statements from insurance companies? And, OMG, what an idiot the perp is. It will take the insurance company about two minutes to give the cops his name from the check # - that is, after the cops sit on hold for 45 minutes and punch a lot of buttons. “Press 1 for English” etc. etc.)
6-9…..15252 Aurora, Shari’s Restaurant. Employee fraudulently using customer’s credit cards for her own gain. (Note to self: use cash.)
6-10….17xx N 160th. Reported ID theft.
6-12….158xx 26th NE, Joe’s Guns and Stuff. Joe runs a gun business from his basement. A customer bought a couple of guns with a check that went NSF.
Call the anonymous tip line – get these creeps –1-800-222-TIPS
6-12….22xx NW 197th St, RB Community Park. Someone poured paint on the playground equipment, picnic table, and two large playground installations. Some graffiti. (What kind of creep trashes a kids’ playground? Wonder if it’s the same guy who cut the swings at Kayu Kayu Ac park last week?)
Car prowls
6-9…..1335 Aurora, Home Depot. Left purse in car in plain sight. Shattered window. (Sweetie – not at Home Depot. Those giant parking lots are feeding grounds for thieves.)
6-10….173xx Fremont, Shorewood. Student left iPod Nano in locked car – left for 15 minutes – it was stolen. (I doubt that the student with the new iPod is college-bound. With his skills and choice of profession, I doubt he’ll bother to graduate, except to Walla Walla.)
6-10….18xx NE 170th. Unlocked car. Got iPod and speakers. (Not a good week for iPods. Doesn’t anyone want GPS any more?)
6-14….145xx Dayton, Scott Manor. Stolen vehicle parked in a marked visitor’s slot at the apartment complex.
6-14….3xx NW 201st Pl. CDs stolen from unlocked car. (Couldn’t find the iPod and didn’t want the GPS)
6-14….5xx NW 203rd. Car prowl.
6-14….195xx 2nd NW. Car prowl. Took disabled placard and cigarettes. (Watch for an able-bodied smoker parked in a handicapped slot).
Weird and Creepy Soap Opera
6-8…..175th/Meridian. An anonymous citizen called 911 about a subject that was seen running in the area and had attempted to get into her car. The Subject said he was offered a ride and then set up to be assaulted. This took place on a dead end street.
6-12….195xx Stone N. Known suspect harasses/stalks/burglarizes victim. Entered house and stole a coat.
6-13….19508 Aurora, Echo Lake Tavern. Marijuana in trash can. Manager inebriated – had no idea where it came from. (Really Ossifer, I have no idea – I do booze)
6-14….1xx NW 177th Ln. Wife bit husband on finger after dispute over medication prescription. (She must not have read about the side effects.)
6-14….154xx Linden. Ex boyfriend / girlfriend. Broke up after two-year relationship. She is six months pregnant. He sent her text messages.
6-14….NE 169th /15th NE. Person reported that she thinks she saw someone reported missing from Multnomah County, Oregon. (And she knew this how?)
6-14….201xx 8th NW. missing person.
Taking advantage of the old and dead and vulnerable
6-9…..5xx NW 175th Ct. Reporting party said that someone with access stole deceased person’s car. (Were they brothers?)
6-12….12xx N 172nd, RB Rehab. Daughter has power of attorney for parent at the Rehab Center. Someone forged a check to look like her parent wrote it out to “Brenda.”
6-12….193xx 2nd NW. Violation of protection order. (You never know how serious these are. Women get murdered.)
Right in there with the phony checks you get in the mail
6-10….17xx NW 199th. Harassing phone call from collection agency. (I briefly worked for a collection agency trying to get money on defaulting student loans. The staff was very polite and professional. The college graduates with the unpaid loans were mostly unemployed English majors but there were a couple of scumbags who were using their legal degrees to avoid paying their loans. But before you start making lawyer jokes, please know that some of my best friends are attorneys...)
Keeping them off the streets
6-8…..175th/Meridian. Motorcyclist. Driving with license suspended. (Cops check motorcyclists, too)
6-11….155th/Aurora. Driving with license suspended.
6-14….201xx Aurora. Driving with licenses suspended.
6-14….NE 155th/1st NE, Twin Ponds Park. Two guys were in the park after hours. Police checked them as they were returning to their vehicle. Found marijuana. (Cops do parks, too.)
6-14….NE 150th/20th NE. Contacted on city street. One person has non-extraditable warrant out of California. (Cops check pedestrians. No one can hide from the long arm of the law. Dum de dum dum.)
(Getting a bicyclist would have completed the set. Maybe when the weather is better.)
Homeless cars
6-14….N 159th/Meridian. Abandoned car.
6-14….145xx 27th NE. 2 abandoned cars. Expired tabs.
Second runner-up
6-14….157xx Dayton. Guy parked his car, locked it, and a while later, watched it drive away.
First runner-up
6-12….174xx 8th NE. Victim says that “someone stole a rusted out piece of junk (car)” from his front yard. The car was inoperable and he was going to get rid of it. When he wasn’t home, a tow truck came to the property and towed away the vehicle. (He’d been promising to get rid of that eyesore for a long time and the neighbors finally got sick of it. Just my theory, of course. Hey guys, next time just call the Shoreline Customer Response Team 206-801-2700.)
This week’s winner
6-9…..160xx Aurora. Medical Marijuana store employees smoke merchandise and leave paraphenalia outside in common area. (Ok, I should have told you that a Green Pharmacy opened up in Shoreline a few months ago. Now you know. And what I have learned from this story is that I must never, ever work in a chocolate store.)
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